Pictures for a lifetime

Stress for a morning. Sometimes I wonder if pictures are worth it. Will I or could I be satisfied with the ones I take? Do I really need to go to a studio? Will I regret it if I don't take those long awaited pictures? The answer is yes, I will regret it but I hate doing it. I dread it. This morning I went to get pictures taken of my daughter with her biological brother (previously refered to as spiderman). We thought we'd be there an hour. I arrived at 9:30 when they opened and waited for one person in front. Not to bad, or so I though. The next thing I know is it's after 11:30. For goodness sakes, the day was almost gone. We hadn't even gotten to the zoo. We figured we'd get there by 11:30 and leave by 2:00 and that would be a good day. We hadn't had lunch, put the kids in the car or started driving yet. We didn't get to the zoo til 1:00 O'clock. We had to ask her hubby to take her other boy to his swim lesson so we had enough time at the zoo. It was a wonderful time but oh how I wish those pictures had been easier and faster.

We had a wonderful time at the zoo but the memory is bittersweet. I don't know if I'll ever get another day with spiderman. He is due to go to his bio mom in two weeks. My attemps to set up meetings and talk with her have failed. The grandma tries to assure me that she will but I wonder and my heart breaks. You should have seen the two kids together. They were constantly seeking out each other and making sure the other was there.

We left them in the afternoon and I fear we won't see him again. His time with his current family is so short now that I hate to take away their time with our visits. They have been so gracious in opening up their home and hearts to us but I know they need this last bit of time with him. For his sake as much as theirs.

Spiderman keeps asking her why he can't stay with them. What is a mother to say? Finally, she told him because "The Mom" wants you. She doesn't want to hurt him but she doesn't want to take the blame either. He hit the bio mom the other day and when he was asked why he simply stated "because she wouldn't let me go to you, mom!" A comeback is hard to find there.

We've been so hot these past few days so our new swimming pool has come in handy. Little Roo has finally begun to dive properly. It has taken a lot of practice but she has been persistant. We are so proud of her.

Eyore is still struggling with his foot. It appears to not be healing still. I am deeply concerned about the boy. He struggles in every way now. Fatigue is a daily issue as are his eyes and his stomach and his foot. One wonders how he can go on like this. I want to find him a special camp to go to but without a diagnosis, the camps run from 500 to 1000. I can't afford that! I want him to be normal but it sure is hard. Our lifestyle is changing. I have a child who needs me constantly. I am grateful I am here but there are days it feels overwhelming.

The bright spot in my week is Friday for this is the day Garage Sales start. I must be off so I can be ready for tomorrow morning.

Kanga